Its been 365 days since Betty and I wed.  Since the exchange of vows, it has been quite a whirlwind.  She changed jobs; I began a PhD.  We moved countries and have lived in two homes (Lord-willing, going to a third one at the end of this month).  Had the addition of two members to our family — a MacBook and MacBook Pro (what else were you thinking?).  We have been homesick, rejoiced at the news of an expectant nephew, mourned the passing of a loved one, surrounded by encouraging friends, faced with major decisions of housing and traveling and weddings to attend or miss, and had much anxiety over exams to come (my first year PhD panel review in June and Betty’s professional certificate exam THIS TUESDAY — prayers appreciated!).  Needless to say, in one sense it seems like we have been married for much more than one year.  Yet at the same time, I feel as though we are still newlyweds.

It’s a lot of fun being married (especially to this gem!).  I treasure the times we have when we “go to sleep” at the same time and talk about our days or just be silly.  I love waking up on Saturday mornings when we have a “lie in” (that’s how Brits describe “sleeping in”) and can carry on with our random conversations.  And on a daily basis, with a few exceptions, I wake up around the same time as her (well, maybe a little later) and drive her to work and pick her up in the evenings (though, since the weather has improved, she has walked home more often lately).  Though some people think it may seem like a chore, I actually really like seeing her off to work and wishing her a good day.  I also love the fact that she has a very different mindset than me.  She thinks about writing cards and getting gifts and baking cookies while I am never as eloquent with my words nor good at remembering birthdays.  She also loves to travel (after her exam on Tuesday, we are flying to Italy to celebrate our anniversary!!).  As the picture above attests, she is also so silly that she allows me to let down my hair and be silly too.

Having said all that, I think this year has been one of great learning too.  I was thinking about this recently and I realise how individualistic I am — focused on myself.  Now, I have historically not really stressed over things much or had much anxiety.  When I make decisions, I just do them and that’s that.  But now, my decisions impact another person.  They probably always impacted somebody else in some way — the difference, I realise, is I now care about who my decisions impact.  I mean Betty probably worries about things more than I do.  However, since getting married, I realise that I have begun to worry about things more.  Part of it is I worry because Betty is worrying about something.  But other times, I worry when I think Betty should be worrying about something (though she may not!).  I find that I am beginning to emote and I don’t know what to do — I mean, I didn’t think I had a heart before!  (So, if you think you are too selfish, maybe you should get married!  If you are married, maybe you should have a kid!  :P)

All this makes me think about one of the first passages Betty gave me when we first started dating: Matthew 6:25-33.  You know the passage… it’s about not worrying because the Father is always THE provider.  I suppose part of it is knowing that God has provided an awesome wife and I should trust that He will take care of her.  Pray for us, if you will, on our anniversary that we may be a couple, united in heart, mind and spirit, in following Jesus’ exhortation in verse 33: “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Thank you Lord for Betty, my wife and sharer of my life.  Help me to be thankful each day for her and to grow in my love and care and service to her.  Amen.

2008 Newsletter

On May 10, 2008, we entered a commitment in Christian marriage before our family and friends in Vancouver, Canada. Through the lenses of our good friends and photographers Jon Chan and Cindy Lowe, we wanted to share glimpses of that special day with others.

Thanks to our families who have loved us, our friends who have supported us, and our God Who has embraced us through it all!

Blessings!

Alex and Betty

P.S. We have yet to receive photos from our reception in LA and will post them once we get them.

 
Before the Ceremony

The Ceremony

After the Ceremony

The Photo Session

The Reception

After the Reception

 

Growing up, I loved playing with Lego’s.  Perhaps it was because of their incredibly cool inter-locking ability or the endless possible end products or the fact that you can build and take it apart again and again.  Whatever it is, this engineer-in-da-makin was in love with them.  As a grew older, Lego’s really fell by the wayside — no more did I play with them.

Fast forward a few decades when I am dating Betty.  On our first trip to San Diego together, we took Erin and Lindsay (two adorable daughters of our good friends Dalon and Eva) to Legoland:

Legoland is great fun, but it must be experienced with the eyes of a child.  That’s what we did.  I think that trip sparked my interests in Legos once more.  When we got engaged a few months later, I decided to begin my search for the ultimate Lego cake topper.  But no such item was commercially available.  How would I relive my childhood on such a pivotal day of my adult life?  I did what I always do — Google.  Through the process, I came across this great website of a couple who designed their own Lego save-the-dates.  So, I basically did the same thing they did.

1. I designed the Lego cake-topper with Lego CAD:
   
2. Then, I ordered each individual part on Bricklink, effectively an eBay for Lego pieces.
    
3. Finally, I assembled the parts with superglue, including the dress that Betty made for herself using parts of her actual dress and veil (she got scraps from her dress from the tailoring done).
   
   
   

About Us

Alex recently graduated as a full-time student at Regent College in Vancouver, BC and moonlights as a Software Engineer.

Betty is a cytogenetic diva working in a genetics research lab affiliated with the Vancouver General Hospital.

How we Met

We met through a mutual friend in England, Bert Han.

Betty spent several years in England studying and working and got to know Bert and his wife Phan. Alex visited England several years ago to participate in a youth conference.

As Betty was returning to her hometown of Vancouver, BC, Bert introduced her to several of his friends in the Vancouver area — including Alex. Shortly thereafter, they started dating.

When we Got Engaged

November 4, 2007

The Story

(The abridged version.)

Alex had a romantic day planned — most of which failed miserably with the exception of the proposal!

(Unabridged, told from Alex’s perspective.)

I had a whole day planned to surprise Betty for their six-month anniversary. I was going to rent a car, pick her up for church, and then relive significant events of our relationship. The car rental was important for the element of surprise — especially since I don’t have a car in Vancouver and Betty normally drives. Later that evening, we would have a romantic walk on the beach where we had one of our first pre-dating outtings together. Then, a game of indoor tennis (Betty’s favorite sport). We were going to go back to my apartment, shower and change, and I would give Betty her first corsage (yes first). Then off to the most romantic place on earth where the proposal would happen — the A & W Rootbeer Restaurant. That was where I had asked Betty to first start dating many months prior. After that would follow a proper meal at The Cannery. However, not all plans are meant to be.

When I tried to rent the car, my credit card got rejected — TWICE. It turned out that CitiBank blocked my transactions because the card was being used in a foreign country (a country where the card has been used numerous times for over a year). So, no car. No problem. The next day, my buddy Clement dropped me off at Betty’s place to surprise her. We went to church and lunch — both of which ran a bit late — then returned to Betty house to get some things she forgot. Alas, we were 1 1/2 hours behind my schedule. No problem. The 2hrs allocated to the hike were shortened to a 30 min stroll. While coming back from the bech, Alex saw a man in the driver’s seat of a car that looked like Betty’s. He ran up to the car and the man gets out, jumps into another car, and speeds off — Betty’s car was broken into. After calling the RCMP and inspecting the car, it turned out that the steering console was damaged and a bag stolen — the car now had to be towed! All plans were now canceled. At this point, Alex had zero intention on proposing that night.

Clement came, picked us up, and took us back to my place (I had a frozen pizza in the freezer, ready to be eaten). After Clement left, I remembered one little detail in the plans that did not get spoiled — the corsage. So, I went to the fridge to get the flowers and said to Betty, “I don’t know if you are still in the mood, but I wanted to get you these for our six-month anniversary.” She saw them and immediately said, “We HAVE TO dress up!” So, she got into the dress she brought for the dinner and I got into my suit. My iPod played classical music as we had our romantic frozen pizza dinner, sparkling tap water, and candle-lit table. It was perfect. Towards the end of the meal, we reminisced about our pasts. I brought up that fateful day in A & W Rootbeer and started repeating some of the lines I had used that night. Then I said, “Remember when I asked you, ‘Would you like to pursue a marital relationship with me?’” She responded, “You didn’t say that.” To which I replied, “Can I now,” as I pulled the ring out of my pocket. As she screamed “ARE YOU SERIOUS!??!”, I walked around the table and properly got on one knee. She said, “YES!”

It’s pretty interesting… this world of weddings. Did you know that some brides buy a few wedding dresses and a few wedding veils and a few sets of accessories before they decide finally which one is the ‘perfect’ ensemble for their wedding? As a result, many of these “rejected” dresses and veils and other things are put on ebay/craigslist/other bridal internet forums for other brides to buy at a much reduced price. It’s great for bargain-hunters, of course, but I just don’t understand why brides would spend so much extra money in the first place? I guess I don’t know all the stories behind each item for sale. Actually, there was one ad on craigslist that said the wedding was called off and because of that, the bride-no-more wanted to sell her wedding outfit. That is sad, of course.

I don’t think I’ve become anything like some of the “bride-zillas” that we see on these wedding TV shows. But I can see how one can easily get sucked into the wedding world black hole where the details can be never-ending with that mentality of wanting a “perfect wedding”. So please, if anyone sees me spiraling into this world, please give me a strong pinch and bring me back to the real world!

It’s now been almost two months since Alex and I got engaged on November 4th, 2007. From the very start, at least from my perspective, it feels like it’s been a balancing act between family and our own expectations/ideas for our wedding. I was definitely swept up in the romance of being engaged, and then realities about the actual planning details of a wedding started to sink in. As I (and Alex too, unfortunately) have found out, I can sometimes easily be overwhelmed by the many tasks that seem to require my immediate attention. Thankfully, with God’s grace, things are slowly falling into place.

It’s really quite exciting now that certain key things have been set, such as the venues for the wedding day and me getting a wedding dress already! I can allow myself to imagine a little what the real day will be like. The details are not completely there yet, but I think I want to enjoy my own little world for a bit anyway before having come back to earth with things like budgets and tasks still to do.

Things I’m thankful this past week:

1) finding our reception venue (New Year’s eve)

2) finding my dress at a good deal (Dec 27th)

3) building friendships at my first-ever Winter Conference retreat

4) ringing in 2008 with good friends and Alex

5) celebrating Christmas with both of our families

I like to think of this like the Christian doctrine of predestination. Many people argue that if God has chosen some people to go to heaven, then he has also chosen other people to eternal damnation (known as “double predestination”). Others (whom I agree with) say that God has chosen a select number to go to heaven and passed over the rest (that is, He has not really chosen a destiny for the rest). Likewise, it is not like I chose that this or that person could not come — the goal was to choose the select number who could come. So for those who have been “passed over,” I’m really sorry.

According to my checklist, we now have about 160 more tasks to do before May 10th, 2008 when singlehood shall end and a new adventure shall begin! Despite the many tasks, Betty and I are excited about the progress. Perhaps, we will get married this year!