Yesterday (June 15, 2010), I attended the funeral of my maternal grandmother.  All of my other grandparents passed away well before I was born.  She was the only grandparent I ever knew.  She was 99 years old.

I found out about her death when I was in China on a research trip for my PhD.  My studies involve Christian theology in China since the 20th century.  So, I had been traveling to many churches, seminaries and university departments of religion and philosophy.  Being in China, I also spent some time attending famous Daoist and Buddhist sites throughout the country and attended a Confucian-Christian dialogue at one Chinese university.  The news of my grandmother came near the end of a several-week stay I had at one university.  I finished up my time there, flew back to the UK for a few days and made it here to LA last Sunday.

Grandma was born in 1911, the year the Republic of China was established.  After marrying my grandfather, he moved to Burma to help with the family business and they were separated for 10 years before she rejoined him.  Altogether, they bore four children – my uncle and mother (the youngest) were the only ones to survive.  The year my mother was born, my grandfather fell sick and died.  Grandma became a single mother raising two young children in a foreign land, during the years of Japanese occupation.  On one occasion, a bomb went off near their home.  Though she was able to protect both her children from the explosion, she lost complete hearing in one of her ears.

Through the many challenges of life, grandma was a robust lady.  Two years ago, just after Betty and I got married, she had a severe stroke.  Before that, she lived alone in an apartment in LA, took the bus everywhere and daily played mahjong with her friends and attended the local Buddhist temple to pray for family and friends.  After her stroke, she moved into my parents’ home to be looked after daily by my family.  Though she was able to regain much of her original physical strength, she could no longer live independent of others.

Attending her funeral was quite surreal.  Grandma was a devout Buddhist and self-taught fortune-teller.  Many friends and family would go to her to help determine a good day to get married, move into a home or other important life events.  Many years ago, she even hiked through the many acres at Rose Hills Cemetery.  She was looking for the most auspicious location to bury the remains of my grandfather, imported from Burma, and for her own future resting place.  It was therefore quite appropriate for her to have a Buddhist-Daoist funeral, full of incense and chanting.

My grandma taught me many things throughout her life.  I remember, when I was a child, her iron grip squeezing my tiny hand tightly to instruct me on how to properly use chopsticks.  She also told many stories to illustrate the importance of hard work, humility and being content with what one has.  Later in life, grandma also taught me how to pick a good wife who would not waste away all my riches (she said I did well after her first meeting with Betty).

But even at her funeral, grandma continued to teach.  About a year ago, she prepared a prayer to be recited by my mom at her future burial, though not to be read to the public.  My mom showed me a copy and, I must say, it was quite beautiful.  I am a student of Christian theology but also a student of the cultural and religious heritage I was born into.

Grandma, I hoped you would one day hold and play with my children.  But am glad to have your life, love and lessons persist in our lives.  Thank you for all that you have done and all that you have been.  I love you.  Goodbye grandma.

榮錦

I watched a girly chick flick tonight too “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” and that made me cry and miss Alex even more. All very much my own doing, I know. During this ‘alone’ time, I do realize how much I take Alex for granted. I suppose that’s one aspect of the famous quote “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. When Alex is with me, I don’t really see so clearly how much he loves me. When we are apart, we make more effort (well, we need to make the effort) to talk to one another and to really treasure the little time we have to talk with one another. And we make the effort to say the little things that we don’t say as much normally on a day-to-day basis, like “I love you” instead of “how come this huge dining table is filled with books??” Yeah, I know that I nag too much (sorry dear!). I just pray that I will remember these times of absence so that my heart will always grow fonder, regardless of where the both of us are

When we first got married, Betty moved into my basement suite underneath the home of a pastor and his family. They were good people but, on a regular basis, we could hear the piano playing next to our bedroom and the ping-pong table being used next to our kitchen.

The next time we moved was when we relocated here to the UK in September of last year. We stayed with good friends in a shared home as “temporary housing.”  Honestly, we have been really blessed by good friends and strangers who have opened their places to us to live.  But, as a young married couple with a desire to bless others, we thought it would be important to find a more personal “home”.  So, this all changed last week.

Here’s a shot of the front (with our Civic parked there) and our back garden (with the new compost bin we got — which, incidentally, is sold at a reduced cost since most municipalities actually subsidise them).  Our hope is that we will be able to use this place for God’s glory and, perhaps, entertain angels unaware.  If you would like to visit, drop us a line!

Its been 365 days since Betty and I wed.  Since the exchange of vows, it has been quite a whirlwind.  She changed jobs; I began a PhD.  We moved countries and have lived in two homes (Lord-willing, going to a third one at the end of this month).  Had the addition of two members to our family — a MacBook and MacBook Pro (what else were you thinking?).  We have been homesick, rejoiced at the news of an expectant nephew, mourned the passing of a loved one, surrounded by encouraging friends, faced with major decisions of housing and traveling and weddings to attend or miss, and had much anxiety over exams to come (my first year PhD panel review in June and Betty’s professional certificate exam THIS TUESDAY — prayers appreciated!).  Needless to say, in one sense it seems like we have been married for much more than one year.  Yet at the same time, I feel as though we are still newlyweds.

It’s a lot of fun being married (especially to this gem!).  I treasure the times we have when we “go to sleep” at the same time and talk about our days or just be silly.  I love waking up on Saturday mornings when we have a “lie in” (that’s how Brits describe “sleeping in”) and can carry on with our random conversations.  And on a daily basis, with a few exceptions, I wake up around the same time as her (well, maybe a little later) and drive her to work and pick her up in the evenings (though, since the weather has improved, she has walked home more often lately).  Though some people think it may seem like a chore, I actually really like seeing her off to work and wishing her a good day.  I also love the fact that she has a very different mindset than me.  She thinks about writing cards and getting gifts and baking cookies while I am never as eloquent with my words nor good at remembering birthdays.  She also loves to travel (after her exam on Tuesday, we are flying to Italy to celebrate our anniversary!!).  As the picture above attests, she is also so silly that she allows me to let down my hair and be silly too.

Having said all that, I think this year has been one of great learning too.  I was thinking about this recently and I realise how individualistic I am — focused on myself.  Now, I have historically not really stressed over things much or had much anxiety.  When I make decisions, I just do them and that’s that.  But now, my decisions impact another person.  They probably always impacted somebody else in some way — the difference, I realise, is I now care about who my decisions impact.  I mean Betty probably worries about things more than I do.  However, since getting married, I realise that I have begun to worry about things more.  Part of it is I worry because Betty is worrying about something.  But other times, I worry when I think Betty should be worrying about something (though she may not!).  I find that I am beginning to emote and I don’t know what to do — I mean, I didn’t think I had a heart before!  (So, if you think you are too selfish, maybe you should get married!  If you are married, maybe you should have a kid!  :P)

All this makes me think about one of the first passages Betty gave me when we first started dating: Matthew 6:25-33.  You know the passage… it’s about not worrying because the Father is always THE provider.  I suppose part of it is knowing that God has provided an awesome wife and I should trust that He will take care of her.  Pray for us, if you will, on our anniversary that we may be a couple, united in heart, mind and spirit, in following Jesus’ exhortation in verse 33: “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Thank you Lord for Betty, my wife and sharer of my life.  Help me to be thankful each day for her and to grow in my love and care and service to her.  Amen.

So my friend Christina and I went off to the Peak District for two days this week, visiting historic homes like Chatsworth and staying in a quaint village hotel called The Maynard. As we finally made it to our first stop, Chatsworth, we were both quite in awe of the beauty that surrounded us. When we drove upon the estate, we spot this rather large herd of deer! I had never seen so many deer together. It was too bad my camera couldn’t capture them very well, but that truly was a scene of British countryside that I shall not forget easily.

Upon entering the historic home, I easily slip into my imaginary world of Jane Austen and Pride and Prejudice. In fact, this was the place that stood as Pemberley in the latest movie version of P&P. My heart still loves the BBC version best, but the new one was pretty good. There was even a movie exhibit inside Chatsworth, because the latest film to display this home was ‘The Duchess’.

I’ve always wondered what life would be like 200 years ago, living in such a surrounding and lifestyle. There certainly would not be any modern conveniences that I love now, like indoor plumbing and central heating. But there’s something intriguing about the lives people lived back then. A little simpler, in some ways, where people had their roles determined by class/status/female/male. Very elegant, I imagine, but a very hard life too.

So anyways, back to the countryside, did you know that back then, people feared travelling because of highway robbers and thieves? It just was not safe on the roads back then. And for that, I am thankful I can take my time on the roads now and just enjoy the peaceful nature and beautiful of the English countryside.

Then, after several months of being mistaken for a woman, my Korean rockstar days were over — the hair had to be chopped off.  So, after an hour or so, I was back to the way I looked before.

After getting married and beginning my PhD, I thought it would be a good exercise to see what my hair would look like in a different color.  So, with the help of a trusted friend (Thanks Suki!! –- check out her hair), taking over two hours… this:

became…

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This!

Don’t you wonder what would happen if I went for another degree?  :)  BTW, if anybody would like to talk to Betty, I think she needs somebody to talk to — for some reason, she keeps staring at me…

2008 Newsletter

Another notable thing to mention was our visit of a local place of worship.  At one point it was Hanover Chapel:

Now, it is a new place of worship (notice the cross in the upper left corner):

Oh, and if you are ever in London and get off at Covent Garden Tube station, do NOT take the stairs.  It was so crowded to take the elevator that we decided to follow the crowd up the stairs while not heeding the sign that says how many steps there were.

Yah, that was the workout for the weekend.  Ok… back to my food preparation!

But then, when I moved to Canada in 2006, things changed.  Not only was the last Thursday of November a full day of classes, Thanksgiving in Canada was celebrated a month and a half earlier.  A few friends and I decided to still celebrate American Thanksgiving — in Canada.

The next year, of course, we did the same.  This year, I have moved again — this time with my bride and to England.  Though the number of Americans here are far fewer, we still celebrated God’s goodness!

What I think is very special for me is the fact that Thanksgiving is a time of family.  And, as I have lived away from home for many years, I appreciate the fact that God has given me surrogate families wherever I have gone.  I am truly thankful for God’s blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We are finally here in the UK, finally here in Birmingham. It’s been a long journey, leaving Vancouver on September 1st and embarking on an 18-day journey here to Birmingham. God has been very good to Alex and myself. He has blessed us with so many wonderful memories that we will treasure forever with the friends and family with whom we met up with along the way. Of course, we remember and treasure the dear friends and family we left in Vancouver too!

So how does it feel to finally be here in Birmingham? I can only speak for myself, Alex will have to share his thoughts in his blog entry. I have already been asked many a times why I would return to such a country as England, always so wet and so dark in the winter and so gloomy here. I have been quite surprised actually by all the negative comments I hear about this island. Perhaps many people are fed up, for whatever reason. The only thing I want to say is that grass is not always greener on the other side.

It’s true that I left a country and a continent with an abundance of riches… in natural resources, in material goods, in choices of many excellent eateries and many other things. But along with all this abundance of “stuff”, I found myself yearning for more connection with people around me. Perhaps I did not use my opportunities wisely, but for example: I was physically close to my family. But I felt like I was not communicating as well with them as I can now, from afar. And though it’s only been a few days, I do feel like the skype conversations that I’ve had with my parents since arriving here have been more substantial than many conversations I had with them when I was at home. 

So upon arriving here in Birmingham, it’s been really lovely staying at my friends’ Ros and Bok’s home and re-connecting with many old friends from church and work as well as making new friends too. The thing I’ve felt most blessed by is that I feel the same welcome and sense of community from my BCEC church family here as I did from my past years.

With any place, there’s always good and bad. At present, my struggle has been about securing a job. I’m trying to get work back in the lab where I used to work at the Birmingham Women’s Hospital. Though I had been communicating via email with my old boss here in the UK, I’m still going through an interview process at present. I know that God will provide something good for me and Alex here. I just need more faith in really believing that and trusting with all my heart, without worrying too much. Easier said than done though. 

That’s all for now from me. Hopefully, I’ll have more news soon to share with everyone. Until the next time… love, betty