First Year of Marriage

Its been 365 days since Betty and I wed.  Since the exchange of vows, it has been quite a whirlwind.  She changed jobs; I began a PhD.  We moved countries and have lived in two homes (Lord-willing, going to a third one at the end of this month).  Had the addition of two members to our family — a MacBook and MacBook Pro (what else were you thinking?).  We have been homesick, rejoiced at the news of an expectant nephew, mourned the passing of a loved one, surrounded by encouraging friends, faced with major decisions of housing and traveling and weddings to attend or miss, and had much anxiety over exams to come (my first year PhD panel review in June and Betty’s professional certificate exam THIS TUESDAY — prayers appreciated!).  Needless to say, in one sense it seems like we have been married for much more than one year.  Yet at the same time, I feel as though we are still newlyweds.

It’s a lot of fun being married (especially to this gem!).  I treasure the times we have when we “go to sleep” at the same time and talk about our days or just be silly.  I love waking up on Saturday mornings when we have a “lie in” (that’s how Brits describe “sleeping in”) and can carry on with our random conversations.  And on a daily basis, with a few exceptions, I wake up around the same time as her (well, maybe a little later) and drive her to work and pick her up in the evenings (though, since the weather has improved, she has walked home more often lately).  Though some people think it may seem like a chore, I actually really like seeing her off to work and wishing her a good day.  I also love the fact that she has a very different mindset than me.  She thinks about writing cards and getting gifts and baking cookies while I am never as eloquent with my words nor good at remembering birthdays.  She also loves to travel (after her exam on Tuesday, we are flying to Italy to celebrate our anniversary!!).  As the picture above attests, she is also so silly that she allows me to let down my hair and be silly too.

Having said all that, I think this year has been one of great learning too.  I was thinking about this recently and I realise how individualistic I am — focused on myself.  Now, I have historically not really stressed over things much or had much anxiety.  When I make decisions, I just do them and that’s that.  But now, my decisions impact another person.  They probably always impacted somebody else in some way — the difference, I realise, is I now care about who my decisions impact.  I mean Betty probably worries about things more than I do.  However, since getting married, I realise that I have begun to worry about things more.  Part of it is I worry because Betty is worrying about something.  But other times, I worry when I think Betty should be worrying about something (though she may not!).  I find that I am beginning to emote and I don’t know what to do — I mean, I didn’t think I had a heart before!  (So, if you think you are too selfish, maybe you should get married!  If you are married, maybe you should have a kid!  :P)

All this makes me think about one of the first passages Betty gave me when we first started dating: Matthew 6:25-33.  You know the passage… it’s about not worrying because the Father is always THE provider.  I suppose part of it is knowing that God has provided an awesome wife and I should trust that He will take care of her.  Pray for us, if you will, on our anniversary that we may be a couple, united in heart, mind and spirit, in following Jesus’ exhortation in verse 33: “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Thank you Lord for Betty, my wife and sharer of my life.  Help me to be thankful each day for her and to grow in my love and care and service to her.  Amen.

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